How do we get out of the way to make room for relationships to unfold in due time?

Braid had two significant meetings this past week with two separate organizations with whom we have had wonderful relationships over the past couple of years.

We greatly admire both of these organizations and those who serve within them. They both have been an inspiration to our mission and of practical help in moving that mission forward. In the conversations with these two nonprofits over the last couple of years we have felt a kinship and found friendship. As you can tell, we like them.

Rebecca and I are, among other personality traits, both intuitive people. In our Myers-Briggs personality tests we both score off the charts for “intuitive,” meaning that we tend to lead with our “gut” primarily. I say this because in our conversations with these two “partner” organizations we have felt, intuitively, that someday we would be in a deeper partnership, a deeper relationship, a deeper friendship.

On several occasions we have felt that we were on the brink of this deepening only to find that the timing wasn’t quite right. On such occasions, when I think something should be happening but it is not, I am prone to try and force an outcome – that is, to manipulate a situation to move everyone down the path that leads to the outcome that I think is desirable. With regards to these two particular organizations this has led me to force conversations and scenarios that were not able to be heard and as a result I wasted a lot of time and energy. I could not force the outcome primarily because the foundation upon which the outcome was dependent was not complete, the soil not fully tilled. Trust, and the relationships that emerge out of that trust, was not fully established. Thus, these forced conversations led nowhere.

Instead, it has been the simple, the faithful, the consistent that has slowly allowed these relationships to build, slowly, layer by layer, with no air pockets or gaps between the layers so that they are solid. It is the gift of time and patience, and it has led to this week’s deeper conversation, conversations that contain more exciting possibility than I could have imagined, and certainly more exciting a possibility than that which would have emerged from my “forced” actions. Being faithful to the conversation, showing up at the table, listening to and hearing from and leaning into a mutuality produced great potential reward.

Isn’t that so often the case in life, the lesson of life, that when we can relax into a conversation, step back and allow a natural relationship to build, when we can take a breath and give up control then, and only then, is the Spirit whose purpose is re-creation, new beginnings, able to be free to create, in a profound way.

Not that we don’t have a role in that new creation as a “co-creator.” Our gifts and talents are necessary to the creative process. But, they are a part of the whole. We bring ourselves to the table and when we are fully present and allow others to be fully present and the genius of the community is allowed to speak then new beginnings and possibilities can begin to emerge built upon the solid foundation of mutuality and relationship.

It is a great paradox in life to understand that we bring our full selves and give up our self so that a re-creation might occur. A new relationship might emerge. A new life begin.

It is the act of mentoring. Bringing one’s full self. Giving up the self. And in the community being co-creators with the Sprit of love to watch new life emerge.

It can’t be forced. It has its own life. It has its own timing. But it will be everything we had hoped for in the end.

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